Instead of armed ruffians on the doorstep he found only a door and inside on the table inside on this side of the locked door mind you inside he found an envelope with official notification on official letterhead in official language officially promoting him to an official position in the official corner office forthwith and commencing immediately and wherewithal and heretofore and hereinafter and inasmuchas.
For dinner he had a frozen tray which had been packaged in approximately 1374 during the reign of some king who hated food and he couldnt find a single record he wanted to listen to what he really wanted was Lou Reeds Metal Machine Music piped directly into his brain to stifle the screaming screaming screaming and when the he knocked the bottle over he realized it hadnt spilt somehow it was empty and the glass made it onto the table but barely and the large floral comfortable overstuffed cushioned cavern consumed his consciousness or what was left of it.
The human mouth when subjected to an excess of alcohol and a deficit of cleansing takes on the aroma and taste of a warthogs knickers and not one of your fancy polished and scrubbed warthogs no sir one of the down market down on its luck down in the dumps down and dirty warthogs who may not have put on clean knickers this am despite what their mam said about what if youre in an accident his mouth felt like an accident which had happened in his head and traveled throughout his entire body possible in an Alvis FV107 Scimitar tank possibly now decommissioned he wasnt sure nor was he entirely certain his head was attached to his body because when he tried to stand his head remained firmly in the chair and his feet wallowed about as if someone had speared a warthog he suspected the image of wounded warthogs wallowing would play a major role in his mental function throughout that day.